Afflicting Oneself for Kaparah

 

It seems that a group of scholars known as the Chasidei Ashkenaz had a mesorah (tradition) about transgressors afflicting themselves in order to get a kaparah. People would ask them for advice in terms of what they should accept upon themselves to facilitate this. One of the earliest seforim discussing this was from the Rokeach who gave specific guidance about what should be done for each particular aveirah.

 

The Sha’arei Teshuva (4:12) speaks about this practice —

Fasts, afflictions, shedding tears, and depriving oneself from pleasures can be in place of yissurim… [In addition,] if the transgressor acknowledges G-d’s justice in the yissurim which occur to him, and accepts them with love, this will [also] shield him from many more yissurim which were fitting to have come upon him.

 

Rav Oelbaum, in his collection of sources which relate to the Rambam’s Hilchot Teshuva, points out that the Rambam never explains the degree of yissurim we would need to have a kaparah for our aveirot. There is an argument with this among authorities who came after the Rambam.

Rav Oelbaum quotes the Teshuvot Chatam Sofer (#125) who writes —

One who wants to exempt himself from yissurim being imposed upon him from Shamayim, should afflict himself with afflictions and fasts.

The Chatam Sofer brings a proof to this from the halacha that one who is chayav krisut (obligated to be cut off), but does teshuva and gets lashed, will be exempt from the krisut. This tells us that one who is chayav krisut requires yissurim like lashes besides doing teshuva. And the Chatam Sofer furthermore establishes that every day one fasts [during the daytime, meaning from sunrise to sunset], even in the winter months, counts like a single lash. This idea, that one needs difficult yissurim like lashes for a complete kaparah, is a very great stringency. After all, the evaluation of the Beis Din to determine how many lashes the transgressor should receive, means right up until the point where he would actually die. Therefore, according to the Chatam Sofer, a kaparah seems to require yissurim which are close to death.

 

The Chatam Sofer discusses this in a different teshuva (Orach Chaim – 1:175) —

To exempt oneself from a kareis prohibition, one should fast 39 days for every time one had illicit relations. Even in the winter, a fast day is equal to one lash given by Beit Din. This, however, is only when it is combined with the embarrassment of confessing publicly. Without this, the private affliction [of the multiple fast days] will not be similar to lashes in Beit Din, which was public. One also needs much tefillah (prayer) and supplication to remove the Divine anger, and to not be subject to curses, Rachmana litzlan (G-d should save us from this). More than this, I don’t know.

 

The Teshuvot Nodeh b’Yehuda (#141, Orach Chaim, siman 35), on the other hand, says there is no fixed amount of yissurim required for a kaparah. Rav Oelbaum explains that, according to the Nodeh b’Yehuda, the afflictions themselves are not the essence of the kaparah. Their main purpose is to bring one to a complete teshuva, and to stimulate a sincere regret, as well as a broken heart. In fact, he writes explicitly — “one who is able to slaughter his desires, should do it through [learning] Torah…which weakens one’s strength. I am, therefore, very lenient with fasts and afflictions.”

 

And while the Rambam himself does not mention fasting for the sake of a kaparah, he does write about galut (exile) — “One may exile himself from his place, because exile is m’chapeir for transgressions, since it causes one to be humble.” (Hilchot Teshuva 2:4)

 

The Maharam m’Lublin (#44) presents a very demanding process for the transgressor to receive a kaparah —

Initially, this person should fast 40 consecutive days [i.e., during the daytime], and afterwards, fast three days out of every week. He should not eat meat or drink even beer, [during the night following] every one of these fast days. He should not sleep on mattresses or sheets for an entire year, except for Shabbat and holidays. He should not bathe his body or wash his hair, except once every month… He should lay down in the doorway of the Beit Medrash at the time when people are leaving the Beit Medrash, and allow the people to walk on top of him… He should go once every month with 10 people and prostrate himself on the grave of the Gaon, with tears, crying out, and asking for mechila. He should do this for 12 months. He should not go to any festive meal or celebration, trip or enjoyment, for this entire first year. And he should continue to fast every Monday, Thursday, and Monday until a total of 3 years are finished. He should drink no beer, and certainly no honey, or whiskey for intoxication, for 5 years, neither with friends nor in his own home.

 

And the Marshal Hasheni (A Talmid of the Marshal, and the Rebbe of the Shelah and the Bach) outlines an even more extreme regimen for a particular woman to receive kaparah —

The beginning of the week, on the 23^rd of Iyar, she should begin to fast every day for 365 consecutive days, besides days when the tachanun prayer is not said. And she should eat no meat and drink no wine except for Shabbat and holidays until the 21^st of Iyar of the following year, plus however many days she will need to fast to make up the total of the 365 days… During this year she should wear black, wrap herself in a veil made from coarse fabric, with a belt of Egyptian rope, and change her robe only once a month. She should wash her hair only once a month for k’vod Shabbos, and only bathe in hot water erev Yom Tov. And even so, this should be minimal, not too enjoyable, but just what is necessary for k’vod Yom Tov. She should sleep only on straw which is on the ground, or on a couch, except for Shabbat and holidays… She should get 39 lashes, as is customarily given in our times, but not more. She should sleep by herself, in the place of the mourners, but away from the other female mourners…

She should sit [among women] for a short period of time during the summer, in a place where she will be exposed to ants or flies, every Monday and Thursday. She should then say the viduy in front of these women while covering her upper body. And, in the winter, she should sit this period of time in cold water in a cold bathtub every Monday and Thursday. All of this should be done according to the judgment of the Rav, and the Sages of the city, whether strict or lenient. This includes other things as well as the fasting, depending on how much she can endure. During this period of the fasting, she should go to no festive meals, even for a mitzvah, and even on the days she is allowed to eat, like Shabbat and holidays. She should be careful to not hear any singing or music, and avoid social gatherings and excursions. She should not speak with men or boys, unless there is a pressing need. After the 365 days of fasting have ended, she should fast for an additional year, at least every Monday and Thursday. If she can handle two additional years of fasting every Monday and Thursday, that would be even better. She should also fast her entire life on the terrible day she actually stumbled, so that her transgression will always be in front of her, and she should say viduy privately. If, however, she marries a different man, she will be exempt from fasting so she should not be displeasing in his eyes. The rest of her life, she should be extra vigilant to avoid involvement and unnecessary speaking with men… Perhaps there is hope, since Hashem is merciful, that with this she will have a kaparah for her transgression. (An Abbreviated Order of Teshuva for a Woman )

 

As was discussed previously, the Nodeh b’Yehuda (Orach Chaim – #35 – First printing) had a much different understanding of this entire issue —

I was requested to provide guidance for a Ba’al Teshuva in terms of his transgression…

It is a problem to ask this difficult question from me, since I am not accustomed to responding to questions where I am unable to find a source in the words of the Gemara and the Poskim. I never found [this idea of] multiple fasts on specific days according to how serious the aveirah was. It is true that fasts are written in the verses of the Prophets for the purpose of teshuva. But the extent of the number of fasts is not spelled out in either the verses or the Gemara; only in the sifrei mussar (books dealing with self-improvement). The teshuva discussed there, and most of the ideas, are built on speculation with no sources, one book relying on another book, with no foundation at all. We find much which is stringent and lenient with this, and therefore it is difficult for me to respond…

And the guidelines we find, where the ba’al teshuva must do something three times, corresponding to each transgression, is lacking any foundation…

The truth is that the fasting is really secondary to the teshuva. The essential teshuva is to abandon the aveirah, say the viduy with a broken heart and a sincere regret, which is inspired to draw close to and love the Creator. That is a teshuva which is returning to Hashem and His mercy, and clinging to Him. But other things like fasting and affliction, are not the main point. We need to know, without any doubt, that teshuva [itself] is m’chapeir a complete kaparah. This is well known in the Torah, Nevi’im, and Ketuvim, in both Talmuds, and in all of the Medrashim…

One who violated krisus or misus Beit Din (prohibitions obligated in being cut off or death by a Jewish court) does, however, require yissurim to be cleansed, and therefore, the yissurim are essential to the kaparah! But, while it is true that one does need yissurim [in that case], the Chazal have told us — “The minimum of yissurim [may be the small annoyance of] putting one’s hand into one’s pocket to take out three coins, but only removing two.”…

Ultimately, regret, a broken heart, and crying are all very effective, and much crying in private is praiseworthy…

Although I am very lenient with fasting and afflictions, and teshuvat hamishkal (teshuva which corresponds to the aveirah), however to [completely] exempt the transgressor with nothing is impossible…

 

Rav Dessler (Michtav M’Eliyahu (5:170 – HaYissurim HaGedolim – Shvirat HaYetzer) points out that if one violated either krisus or misos Beis Din, we know that —

Kaparah is impossible without yissurim. But one need not wait until he is afflicted from Heaven. One can accept sh’virat haYetzer (breaking the Yetzer Hara) upon himself, since sh’virat haYetzer is the greatest yissurim of all.”

 

Rav Aryeh Kaplan (Handbook of Jewish Thought – Vol. 2 Atonement – 17:11,19,20) explains —

It is customary by some to receive the 39 lashes administered by the courts on the eve of Yom Kippur as a sign of teshuva and kaparah.

A person can avert suffering by the hand of G-d by imposing it upon himself in the form of fasting and other self-mortification… In a sense, fasting can take the place of sacrifice, where one’s own flesh is offered in place of the animal’s, thereby strengthening the spiritual in man. Fasting alone, without teshuva, however, has no purpose.

One can similarly undertake other forms of self-mortification such as self-exile. In order to m’chapeir for an aveirah completely, one must undertake yissurim equal to the enjoyment gained by the aveirah, and also equal to the penalty prescribed for it.

 

Rabbi Touger (In his notes to his translation of Hilchot Teshuva, pg. 17) writes —

Since the Gemara (Yuma 86a) speaks about yissurim coming upon the transgressor, the Iggeret HaTeshuva of the Rambam (Chapter 1) derives from this that there is no need to combine one’s teshuva with fasts or other penances. Yissurim should be left “to come upon him” — i.e., by Divine decree. This is also implied by the verse in Tehilim, where G-d says — “I will be the One to punish…” Nevertheless, many texts of mussar do suggest fasts and penances to avoid yissurim from Heaven, and to expedite the conclusion of the kaparah… In the present day, however, most authorities suggest that we devote our energies to positive activities without inflicting yissurim upon ourselves.

 

 

This should be l’zechut ul’iluy nishmat Ruchama Rivka, a”h, bat Asher Zevulun 

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